Weird thoughts. Unusual feelings swirling in me.
I. Miss. Home.
But what kind of "home" do i have for me to miss? The kind of emptiness you wont understand. There were times, when i just wanna be like anyone of you, dump everything aside and go home just to rant about my unhappiness and den gain some comfort from someone whom i call "family". But not in my story, not in my life. I know.
When the loneliness set in, the feelings gets stronger. And the only thing i can think of is, "how nice if i have a place to go back to, and someone cook me homecooked food...". I know all these will never ever happened.
Even how much im upset with, no matter how unfair the my life is, i have to endure. Suffer the pain in silence. Its not like there's anyone care or wanna know my pain. To them, this is just a nuisance. A unwanted burden that they hope they wont get to know at all. Human are selfish. They wan happiness and peace too. So why blame them? All i know is, i am not gonna be a Saint to care about anyone anymore. Not even wanna hear about it. So what i do? What will i get in return. Ppl just slam the unwelcome-door on my face when i merely needed an listening ear!
You wanna be selfish, den dun expect ur friends to be by ur side forever. You wan companion and concern den you have to put in effort and time too. This world is just like this. Nothing comes free.
I. Miss. Home.
Which is something i never really had.
Jacky's Wife